If you’ve been food shopping on your phone, don’t get too excited about favorite items that are supposedly in stock.
When delivery workers are trying to reconcile your digital shopping list with random daily shortages, who knows what they’ll consider an acceptable substitute.
So you may unpack an edible surprise or two … but look, this is not a time to be picky.
1
What you ordered was Tyson® canned chicken filets.
What you unpacked was Friskies® canned chicken filets.
2
What you ordered was fresh organic strawberries.
What you unpacked was strawberry-filled Pop-Tarts.®
3
What you ordered was one bunch of parsley.
What you unpacked was one bushel of parsley.
4
What you ordered was a case of beer.
What you unpacked was a case of frozen beer-battered shrimp.
5
What you ordered was Cap’n Crunch cereal with berries.
What you unpacked was Cap’n Crunch cereal with jalapeños.
6
What you ordered was protein snack bars.
What you unpacked was protein supplement tablets.
7
What you ordered was a lobster tail.
What you unpacked was some odd-looking crustacean that you couldn’t even identify online.
8
What you ordered was vegan butter substitute.
What you unpacked was a tub of lard.
9
What you ordered was sour cream.
What you unpacked was hand cream.
10
What you ordered was spicy chili beans.
What you unpacked was spiced jelly beans.
Bonus Item—Guess what’s in the last bag:
11
What you ordered was a 12-pack of toilet paper.
What you unpacked was a 12-pack of wax paper.
Okay … so almost everything goes back on the list …
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About the Author: Tom Tortorici is an Atlanta copywriter and web content writer who helps companies make a genuine connection with their audience. His classes and conference presentations have focused on how writing, strategy and design can work together to grab attention and interest even among readers with short attention spans. In addition to working directly with businesses, Tom regularly partners with web designers and marketing agencies.
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Tom Tortorici Inc. | Tom@TomTortorici.com | 770-934-7861 | 3101 Rockaway Rd | Atlanta GA 30341
